365 Days to Suck the Joy Out of Life (Yours and Your Dog’s)

Happy New Year! It’s that time of year to reassess the size of your arse, clean out your fridge and pack an Excel spreadsheet chocked full of trials, titles and goals to be conquered. For most, assessing your post-holiday girth while chowing vegan tempeh burgers is as appetizing as toe jams. But, is planning your annual soul-sucking journey through a plethora of dog sports mandatories any better? Personally, I’d rather guzzle putrid spirulina shakes whilst doing nude jumping jacks in Times Square.

PSA - For those still groggy, foggy or soggy from last evening’s Moet celebration, please keep sucking Alka-Setzer in between the spins, and I’ll expound in further detail…..

This is the time of year when evil Goal Gnomes start to possess dog sports competitors roughly five minutes after they sober-up from New Year’s Eve. These maniacal GGs cause well-intended handlers to swap their sanity, self-identity and serenity for satin ribbons…..or double Qs….or Invitational invites……or MACHs, PACHs, rocks, bricks, sticks and etc.

As I’ve mentioned ad nauseum, I’ve won a-lot-o-stuff in various dog sports over the last 20+ years. And, I’ve been surreptitiously mounted by evil Goal Gnomes myself. There is nothing wrong with having goals, in fact without them you are virtually guaranteed to accomplish a big goose egg. However, when your objectives cross from a goal to an unhealthy obsession or dispassionate grind that is the first indication a GG has bit you in the shorts.

Often, the enthusiasm of New Year’s goals manifests into hostile handler zombies meandering in 'The Walking Dead' fashion by mid-year. You see them every weekend, or may be one yourself. Typically, one’s dog smacks down some spectacular stuff, but if the performance fails to deliver vertical growth towards goal progression (i.e. a double Q, Super Q, nationals qualifying score or etc.), the handler commiserates versus celebrates. Focus shifts from the dog’s best interest to your own human desires and dreams unrequited. Who loses in this scenario the dog or the handler? Both!

Your dog gives you their all, but may not achieve your defined objectives due to lack of training, ability or just because crap happens and not everything goes perfectly. When your focus shifts from being a servant leader for your dog to a record keeper defining success by a score sheet you majorly buzzkill the entire endeavor for everyone. The unfiltered truth is you also quash your progress, which is counter to what you are trying to achieve in the first place. Some of my biggest spurts of growth in dog sports came from appreciating and learning from what did not go well. I frankly can’t think of one game-changing lesson I learned from a perfect performance. Perfection does not equal progress; progression comes from mastery of challenges.

Now here is a jagged biscuit to swallow, if you are infected by evil Goal Gnomes, and competition has become an ambitious grind, it may be time to step off the ledge and reassess. Are you still passionate about the game, or are you going through the rigors of competition out of obligation or obsession to check some self-imposed boxes? Can you find joy in every run, or does air suck out of the room when your chances for a Q are through?

Admittedly, a Goal Gnome got my girdle a number of years ago in agility. I was caught in a hamster wheel of robotic trials that became more of an obligatory script than a flaming passion. My Goal Gnome was exorcised when I was forced to take a pause due a retirement-induced health issue with my main competition dog. In retrospect, I have gratitude for being jolted out of a sport I no longer found thrilling.

Sometimes the best way to enable a new beginning is with an ending. I’m not suggesting everyone overly possessed by goals and glory quits cold turkey, but you do need to evaluate your motivations. Are you excited to trial, or is it a mechanical score-seeking drudge akin to slogging through 2ft of Minnesota snow? If it is the later, either change your attitude (and priorities), or find another more fulfilling activity. I assure you there is more to life than sitting 8 hours ringside in a lawn chair if it no longer brings you joy.

Also, the truth is in years to come you won’t give a rat’s turd about the score, title or even national championship you are obsessing about today. Even if you win a World Championship, nobody will remember 15 minutes after the EZ-Up is dismantled. So, make 2018 the year you kick your evil Goal Gnomes to the curb. Keep your goals in perspective and lead with appreciation of your dog’s performance milestones versus scores as the singular success criteria. Otherwise, you will suck the joy out life for both you and your dog, and that is a pain worse than any New Year’s hangover. 😉